Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Free

It's been so long since I've posted anything here. So many people read to stay updated on my health, and there just hasn't been much new to say.

But today, there's something new.

Today my cancer is gone. Just... Gone! It's been 4 years since I've had a treatment. And I'll until now, the best news I've gotten has been, "no change."

Last week I had another scan. It had been about a year and a half since my last one. And each time I have bloodwork or a scan, I have to prepare for the results. Not getting any good news in the past teaches you to prepare for no good news.

It's ok after a couple times. There's an emotional moment, usually. Because fear is real. But that doesn't last. After all, this path is the path God chose for me. And there's a reason for it. Even if I don't KNOW the reasons, I do believe there is a Divine plan. And I've seen good come from it. So after an emotional moment or two, I'm ok. Then there's the test. And then the waiting.

The waiting is horrible. Because there's nothing to do. You're just waiting. Your whole world holds it's breath for days. I don't know about you, but I don't wait well. And this time seemed worse. Maybe because we had gone longer between scans? Whatever the reason, I was a bit more tightly strung than usual. And, of course, the wait was longer than it has been in the past.

But FINALLY, this evening I got the message: all the thyroid cells are gone and everything looks normal.

Did you see that?! ALL GONE. For no reason at all. No treatment, no medicine. It's just gone. It's totally God.

And then what do I do? Because I haven't prepared for good news. Why would I? Why would I even hope? I've had radioactive iodine resistant malignant thyroid carcinoma for 5 years.

And now it's gone. I am overwhelmed. I am free.

And it makes me think of Christ. Because today was like salvation. One moment I was prepared to live the rest of my life with this disease, and most likely die of it one day. And then... It's gone. Without anything I had done.

Christ does that. He just reaches out and gives life to a soul dead in sin. A soul without hope, without a cure in sight.

Ephesians 2:8-9: For it's by grace that you’ve been saved through faith, and that faith not of yourselves: it’s the gift of God, lest anyone should boast.

Beautiful, isn't it? Life. Eternal life, freely given.

What a gracious, generous, loving Lord!