Thursday, July 12, 2012

A long, slow road

  My first surgery on Friday was a walk in the park. I was in church Sunday morning and felt great. I suppose I expected to bounce back from this one just as quickly, but it has not happened. Tuesday morning there were no delays getting started. I barely had time to say hello to our dear friends who had driven hours to sit with Brad. They called my name and whisked me off to the long, dreamless sleep. Surgery went well, but recovery is slow. They keep saying how well I am doing...I'm just taking their word for it because I am worn out!
  I have had so many wonderful people visiting me and caring for me. It's been incredible to see the outpouring of love that has happened over the past week or so.  It's Thursday evening now, and I'm alone for the moment. Brad is having a game night with the kids. Kay spent the afternoon with me (I mainly slept, which I think is exactly what she came here to make sure I did) and my mother will be here in a little while so I'm not alone all evening.
  They disconnected my fluids a little while ago, so now I am able to move around quite a bit more easily. I still have an IV in, mainly "just in case," I think. I have 2 drainage tubes that well be removed in the morning. It's hard for me to breathe...but I am walking on my own, I don't need help in the bathroom and I had a really good nap this afternoon. For these things I am very thankful. We are hoping I will be able to go home on Saturday.
  So much has happened in so little time. And now I have adjustments to make that will take quite a while. I am numb from my jawline to my collar bone. Moving my head, neck and shoulders requires some thought now. My breath is shallow and quick. My body only has 90% of the oxygen that it used doesn't sound like a big difference, but I can feel it! The breathing will get better as long as I stay active (which I am). The nerves may take years to repair themselves, but there is hope that one day they too will be back to normal.
  One of the two nerves that control my vocal chords is gone. This has changed my voice. For those of you who know me, you will understand how big this is for me. My voice isn't as different as I thought it would be. But I don't know if I will be able to sing again. And if I do, it will never be the same.
  Even in this God is merciful. There is a raspy, breathy sound when I speak...but I can still tell it's me. The louder I try to talk, the worse the difference. Maybe this is just God's way of cultivating a meek and quiet spirit in me! :-) None of my kids mentioned a difference at all, and I am thankful that this hadn't changed beyond recognition.
  I can already see good coming from my illness. God is allowing me to be a tool used to reconcile relationships, to encourage others and to show the love His people have for one another. So even though this recovery is going to be a long, slow road, I am choosing to enjoy the drive. Each new turn reveals something beautiful.

1 comment:

  1. Because I don't facebook I am always the last to know things (Ha!). :) I didn't know until this past Sunday what was going on and what you were going through. Today someone sent me your blog address and I just had a moment to look at it. Your post are very encouraging and glorify the Lord! Thanks for sharing your heart and I pray for you, that God would use this season of your life to minister to others, and for your family. Now I have a way of keeping up with you! Our blog is, if you would like to visit. Love you!